Serious topic today.

This is an issue that can affect absolutely anybody. Boys, girls, women, men. Unhealthy relationships can be romantic, friendships or family ties.

I’ll be talking today about unhealthy romantic relationships.

This is something I’ve had first-hand experience of – and it’s taken me a long time to come to terms with the effects this has had on my life – and the life of my boyfriend.

Feel free to discuss anything in the comments, share this post with your friends or on your social media. People need to talk about this!

Okay. Let’s start. 

Most new relationships have the ‘honeymoon period’. You know – you live in each other’s back pockets; you feel all sick and funny (in a wonderful way) when you know you’re going to see them; you’re on your best behaviour. No burping allowed at this stage! Unless you’ve had a can of Coke. Then it’s just going to happen whether you like it or not.

After an amount of time – could be a month, could be 6 months – the honeymoon period is over. Instead of gazing at each other and feeling butterflies in your tummy, you’re gazing at the TV together in your pyjamas with a half-eaten takeaway on your laps.

This point – if you reach it – can be even better. You know your partner. You know what they like. You can tell when they want to be left alone, and when they need you to hold their hand or cheerfully burp in their face to make them laugh (just me? Okay. Sorry).

Unfortunately, for some couples, this is where the relationship can turn less-than-perfect.

Spending a lot of time with one person can be a little bit wearing. This can lead to irritation (which, to be honest, is my constant mental state – I’m a very agitated person). Irritation leads to mistrust. Mistrust to resentment.

A way to determine if your relationship has any unhealthy aspects – any at all – ask yourself this.

Does your partner make you cry?

We cry for all sorts of reasons. I cry if I’m hungry, sometimes, but that might just be me. We cry when we’re angry, or upset, or hurt, or frustrated. The list goes on.

If your partner makes you feel any of these emotions, take time to think – calmly! – why that is.
Was this argument really about who should take the bin out, or were you just looking for something to argue about? Do you actually think that your partner will fancy their attractive friends, or is it just something you say so that you can frantically check their phone for any evidence?

Do you want to be with someone who turns you into a frightened, jealous half-person, defined by your partner instead of yourself?

As much as you love them, YOU are the person who you’re stuck with for the rest of your life. Do what makes YOU feel better. If your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife is making you unhappy – do what is best for YOU.

Personally, I caused the initial unhealthiness in my relationship. It’s something I think about every day, and yet I didn’t realise at the time that what I was doing was ruining not just my time, but my boyfriend’s time too.

After about six months into my two and a half-year relationship, we both got more and more stressed. I had no money. We lived 40 minutes apart and mostly saw each other at college.
Our time together became forced – I’d be desperate to see him after a few hours apart, yet find myself at a loss for anything to do or say when we saw each other again. It was upsetting and confusing.

We lost any respect that we had for each other. We grew aggressively competitive.

Our relationship was never the same. We loved each other very much – and if you’ve been in a similar situation to me, you’ll know this feeling – and that was the saddest thing of all, because it wasn’t enough (cue sad soap opera music here).

I feel very sad writing this post, but I know that if I can help at least one person to identify that their relationship is unhealthy and save themselves from it, then I’ve done some good.

I’ve linked below some sites with the warning signs of unhealthy or even abusive relationships, and some advice for those who are in them, so if you’d like to look into this topic, please do.

If you’d like to, you can leave me a comment below or email me (my email can be found on my contact page) if you’re in a similar situation.

Remember: a relationship doesn’t have to be physically abusive to harm you. Make sure that you put yourself first.

http://www.psychalive.org/unhealthy-relationship/
http://www.cbn.com/family/datingsingles/newlife_healthyrelationships.aspx